How do I take time for myself without feeling guilty?

Clinical Social Worker and guest author Rajneek Thind shares tips on how to make space for rest and recovery while letting go of guilt.

Rajneek Thind - 27 October 2025

A student sits at a table in a library holding a book to their face. Their posture suggests exhaustion.

In this week's Dear Maddi column, Clinical Social Worker Rajneek Thind shares tips on how to make space for rest and recovery while letting go of guilt.

Dear Maddi: How do I take time for myself without feeling guilty? I’m scared to commit to activities when they don’t do anything to advance my academic and career plans. Every hour I spend having fun seems like time that should be used for studying.

Signed, Stressed

Dear Stressed,

What an important question! I remember when I was a student, I had a really hard time allowing myself to take space from my studies. I felt if I wasn’t working towards my academic goals, I was wasting my time. This belief caused me a lot of stress, guilt, and left me feeling even more overwhelmed.

You’re not alone in feeling guilty when you take a break. Many students in post-secondary education struggle to relax, especially when their minds are occupied with everything from grades and career goals to looming student debt. You might catch yourself thinking, “Shouldn’t I be studying?” even as you're trying to enjoy a walk, a hobby, or an evening with friends.

This mindset — that only “productive” activities are valuable — is rooted in hustle culture and academic pressure, but it can take a serious toll on your mental and physical well-being. It’s time to challenge the idea that rest and fun are indulgences. They’re not. They're essential parts of a healthy and sustainable life — and yes, even a successful academic and professional journey.

Why You Feel Guilty for Taking a Break

Guilt around rest and leisure often stems from the internalized pressure to always be doing something useful. For students, this translates into a belief that time not spent on school, work, or career goals is wasted. But that’s not only inaccurate — it’s unhealthy.

Here’s the truth: You are not a machine. Academic success isn't just about grinding non-stop. It’s about balance, focus, energy, and resilience. All of those are supported — not hindered — by regular rest, fun, and time for yourself.

Nearly 75% of mental health problems emerge before the age of 25 and post-secondary students are a particularly vulnerable group, according to the Mental Health Commission of Canada. Persistent stress, burnout, and isolation are common and, if ignored, can have long-term effects. Let’s work towards understanding ourselves as whole individuals with different aspects of care and focus in our wellbeing.

You’re Allowed to Be More Than Your Ambitions

It’s easy to fall into the trap of viewing every decision through the lens of how it will advance your academic or professional goals. But you are more than your GPA or your LinkedIn profile. Hobbies, social connection, creativity, and rest aren't distractions from your life — they are your life and what makes you, you.

Consider this: engaging in activities that have no direct "career benefit" — like painting, hiking, gaming, or baking — actually does help you succeed. Hobbies have many benefits including mediating stress, promoting relaxation, increasing self-esteem and happiness as well as fostering creativity and productivity (Cleary et al., 2025). Research also shows wakeful rest after learning significantly improves memory consolidation, so downtime is an essential part of studying (Weng et al., 2025). Breaks aren’t luxuries; they’re tools for long-term success. 

In fact, some of the most innovative people in the world credit their breakthroughs to moments when they weren’t working (check out “The Eureka Phenomenon” by Isaac Asimov). Taking your mind off school doesn’t mean you’re falling behind — it often means you’re creating the space to move forward more clearly and creatively. 

How to Take Time for Yourself (Without the Guilt)

So how do you start letting yourself enjoy time off without that creeping guilt? Here are some strategies:

1. Identify and Manage your Stressors

You want to calm your nervous system and take a look at what is stressing you out. Managing stress involves managing the things that are creating stress. Check out tips to help you figure out where you can intervene with your stress by reading our previous column: Dear Maddi: How do I manage the stress from school when I don’t have time to relax?. 

2. Reframe “Unproductive” Time

Start by changing how you view rest. Instead of thinking of breaks as something you have to earn, view them as a regular part of your schedule — like eating or sleeping. Rest is not a reward for working hard. It’s a requirement for functioning well.

Try this: Schedule downtime into your week the same way you’d schedule classes or study sessions. Treat it as non-negotiable.

3. Set Boundaries with Your Work

With online learning, hybrid classes, and digital study tools, it’s easy for school to spill into every corner of your life. Establish boundaries by creating clear start and stop times for studying. After that time, let it go — guilt-free. Setting boundaries with your work will also help you use the time you are studying to be more productive.

4. Try Micro-Breaks

If full days off feel impossible, start small. Even 10-15 minutes of intentional downtime (keyword: intentional) can make a difference. Go for a short walk, listen to music, or chat with a friend. These micro-breaks help prevent burnout and improve focus. If you find it hard to get back to work after a short break, check out our past article on How to Refocus After a Study Break.

5. Talk About It

You might be surprised at how many of your peers feel the same way. Open up conversations about guilt, rest, and expectations. You’ll likely find support — and maybe even a new study buddy who’s also learning how to balance.

6. Celebrate Non-Academic Wins

Did you finally try that new recipe? Finished a book just for fun? Said “no” to a study session because you needed sleep? Those are wins. Treat them like it. Life isn’t just about degrees and job offers — it's also about the small, joyful moments in between.

Final Thoughts: Your Worth Is Not Based on Productivity

The next time you feel guilty for doing something “unproductive,” remember this: rest is productive in the long run. Notice the guilt as a feeling not a fact. You’re not doing something wrong by taking a break. You don’t need to justify fun or hobbies with how they’ll look on your resume. You’re allowed to do things just because they bring you joy.

And perhaps most importantly — you’re allowed to be a human being, not just a student chasing success.

So go for that walk. Play that video game. Sign up for that improv class. You’re not wasting time — you’re living it.

Sincerely,
Rajneek

Written by Rajneek Thind, Clinical Social Worker for Counselling & Clinical Services. Edited by Suman Varghese Counselling & Clinical Services’ Satellite Psychologist for the Faculty of Arts and GPS.

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References

Cleary, M., Le Lagadec, D., Thapa, D. K., & Kornhaber, R. (2025). Exploring the Impact of Hobbies on Mental Health and Well-Being: A Scoping Review. Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 46(8), 804–814. https://doi.org/10.1080/01612840.2025.2512006 

Weng L, Yu J, Lv Z, Yang S, Jülich ST, Lei X. Effects of wakeful rest on memory consolidation: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Psychon Bull Rev. 2025 Oct;32(5):1937-1968. doi: 10.3758/s13423-025-02665-x